A New Version of Jingle Bells for Christmas and Holidays 2013!

The Holidays will be here before we know it so don't delay, learn the new holiday 2013 Jingle Bells today!
Read the new lyrics as penned by the genius lyricist and all around good guy, Michael V. Peters.
 

Jingle Bells, Elfis smells

Santa has three noses

He SHOT OUT SNOT AT THREE ELVES at once like 

WATER FROM THREE HOSES

It landed on most of the gifts but Santa didn't care

And when the children saw it they threw up a ton of hair

 

His beard is filled with bugs

There's a goldmine in his ear

Why is this? Because

He drinks a lot of beer

When it gets to be Christmas Eve

You better hold your nose

Cuz Santa tends to FART a lot

And it sounds like "Ho Ho Ho!'

 

Jingle Bells, Elfis smells

Santa has three noses

He SHOT OUT SNOT at 3 ELVES at once LIKE

WATER FROM THREE HOSES

It landed on most of the gifts but Santa didn't care

And when the children saw it they threw Up! A! Ton! Of! Hair! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIR*cough cough hack*

He's Back! Elvis, I Mean Rod Blagoevich is Back on The View

TwinSpeak Rod "The Hairdo" (or don't do) Blagoevich will be back on The View in September, this time with wife Patti. Will he grace us with an Elvis tune? Will he divulge his hair care secrets? Or will he and Patti announce that he's been hired to replace Elvis on the "Viva Viagra" commercials?