New York Men Can't Dress for Sh*t! According to Kanye. Do Your Sock Garters Match the Tassels on Your Shoes, By the Way?

Big news, big news!!!! We can all sleep better now that Kanye West has given all of us the 411  on men's fashion. By the way, 411 is an old school number to get "information." We used to dial 4-1-1 on our rotary phones to find out whether someone's parents' landline phone number was listed or not.

Holy GQ, Batman! Kayne cuts no slack whatsoever when it comes to everybody else's clothes.  

If you are a Manhattan guy who happened to be walking the street when Mr. West was Tweeting as he was looking out of his chauffered car window and you were wearing:

• "Big Ass Striped Scarves" and/or
• "Khaki cargo shorts" and/or
• "Off Brand Work Out Sneakers" and/or
• "Long Ass Sideburns with the line up RnB Beard", well, Kanye may just have been talking about you.

Oh, and Kayne doesn't like hoodies with sport coats or button up shirts with hoodies either.  Who does he think he is, a fashion designer?  Actually, he is. The jury is out as to whether he could quit his day job, but he is someone who takes fashion very seriously.

We remember when a friend of ours came to New York and was stunned to find out that not everyone on the streets is "Vogue Worthy."  He himself is "Vogue Worthy" and in between getting a weekly mani/pedi, pouring over fashion magazines and wondering or not his sock garters match his shoe tassels, he also holds forth on the scandalously unfashionable state of men out in these mean streets. As HE sees it.

Watch out guys, boys, dudes, and manly men, you are officially warned.  It may be so crowded in the "look how unstylish women are" field that you, too, may be fair game.  Some really insensitive tabloids might even claim you have a baby bump when all you did was have five too many burritos for lunch.  They might even criticize your abs, or your hairstyle or even the knot in your tie. 

Or even worse, Kanye might create a rap song about you called "You Were High On Theraflu When You Got Dressed Today".  Before you leave the house, make sure your "Manscara" isn't messed-up, either. As YOU see it.

Striped Turbans With Suits and Ties for Business Consultants: In or Out? Or Just for Chicago Hipsters? What Say You, Kanye "Fashionista" West?

New York, San Francisco, Seattle and Austin hipsters, watch out! A Chicago businessman is taking the boardroom by storm (or wind... you know, Chicago IS the Windy City) with his turban and business suit swagger. Take note, Bill Cunningham of the New York Times, you saw it here first!

We hope to see this look on the runways this fall. To all Ye Men of Trends and to Chi-City Fashionista KAYNE West, why not "TURBO-CHARGE" or rather, "TURBAN-CHARGE" your look and your staid suits!!!





Not feeling this look? Well think about it for a minute:

1) If you are hair-follicle challenged, you can hide it under a turban
2) If you accidentally ran out of hair gel for that 1990s or Jersey Shore, spiked/greaser/guido look, you can hide it under a turban
3) If your ponytail is still too short to sport the Joakim Noah "chignon" look, you can hide it under a turban
4) If you tried to give yourself a "Just For Men" haircolor job, and your officemates give you grief, you can hide that mistake under a turban
5) If you fell asleep at your bachelor party and woke up with with a tooth missing, a tattoo on your face, plastic surgery on your nose or whatever, put a turban on and you'll deflect attention away from the aforementioned problem areas.

With trend-setting turban-wearing business execs such as this gentleman, Chicago may not be the "Second City," at least not in the fashion world.

Moths Drawn to the Flames of Fashion. Now Wearing Pink.

A major trend in the insect world is now underway. Tired of the media's spin on insects as merely creatures Orkin can exterminate, moths are coming out of the chrysalis closet wearing new fashion colors. "Pink is a great contrast with the color brown we've been wearing for the past five thousand years" said Lithophane Leeae, a new pink moth from Arizona. "Bindi Irwin, Anna Wintour and Kanye West are all trying to jump on the pink 'mothwagon,' so that tells you we're on everyone's antennae." Think Pink!