Happy Valentine's Day to our Fashion Crush, Creative Genius, Writer and overall Bon-Vivant, Simon Doonan at Barney's

If you don't know who Simon Doonan is, shame, shame and shamey shame on you!  He has the best job in the world:   Creative Ambassador-at-Large of the New York City-based clothing store Barneys.. Simon (yes, I'm on a first name basis with anyone who is that cool because I've obsessed about them for ages and they seem like family, my imaginary family), Mr. Simon caught our attention when he was designing the windows at Barney's with astonishing, thought-provoking and visionary artistry. Take a look at this:

and what about this homage to the Coneheads?

It is really an inspiration to see and witness the genius of someone such as Simon, unfold right before our eyes season after season.  We've had a literal window into his mind's take on culture, fashion and politics, and for that, we send  him a really big Valentine. We all should have the opportunity to freely exercise our creative license in public spaces.  It would make the world a more humane and exciting place.

Fashion Babies Discuss Baby Fashions: The High-Waisted Man Pant

In honor of our July 26 Birthday, here's one of our favorite videos, ever!

Riley, one of our best friends here in Glamsterdam, has something to say.  It is about time somebody thought about what, if any,choices girls have when pink is the only color many marketers use. Go down any aisle in the toy department and you'll be blinded by all the pink.  Why should boys get thousands of colors and girls only have one?  Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...message!

We ALL should enjoy ALL the Colors in ALL the rainbows!

Happy Birthday to everybody and anybody who shares the July 26 Birthday with the July 26 Twins, a.k.a., the Fashion Babies!

And Happy Birthday to all those lucky to be born under the sign of LEO.

What's Love Got to do with it, got to do with it? What's Love, but the Fashion Babies in Motion?

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!  Getting Jiggy with Tina Turner in Chicago.  Tina's red dress with the red fringe is in classic style and her trademark legs are working it!  Ms. Turner put on her happy shoes and started singing up a storm, at which point Beinecke the Bulldog put the Fashion Babies on his head and they all shook a tail feather together.  PLEASE feel free to provide your own soundtrack, as we aren't into copyright violations!

The Hottest Chick in the Fashion Game is a 72-year-old MAN! And Betty White Might Be in Love!

Extra!  Extra!  The Hottest Chick in the fashion game is a model whose photos have resulted in a 500% increase in sales for a very lucky fashion retailer.  And who, pray tell is this model?  Why it's the stunning 72-year-old Liu Xianping, grandfather of the owner of the China-based online store, Yuekou. Yes, this is a guy.  

It started as Liu put outfits together after unpacking boxes of clothing with his grandaughter.  The next thing you know, Grandpa decided to model his ensemble choices and posed for the camera as a joke.  The photos went viral overnight and the rest is retail history.

The man may be the butt of many jokes in days to come, however, you notice he's not wearing women's platform, stilletoes or any other form of torture chamber shoes.  A man's got to draw the line somewhere.  If the shoes don't fit, you must admit. It.

In other parallel universe news, the Ab Fab geezer granny Betty White, 90, said, "When I saw the stories about Liu, I thought now I can really get my  serious cougar on!  This youngster is 18 years younger than me!  Now don't you go and hate, go out and rob your own cradle and stay away from mine!  I'm 90, dammit!"  

"Thanksgiving was just last week, and coincidentally, I love Liu's turkey neck.  I just wish he didn't cover it up in some of these fashion shots."

"Plus, " Betty adds, " I just dropped that Elmo character when I found out he was messing around.  For years! With other human beings.  It would have been a different story if it had been the Cookie Monster or a Teddy Ruxpin, you know what I mean?"

Elmo has refused to comment, but has previously stated that he'd been crushing on Ms. White since she was spotted at a toy store picking up Furby years ago.

Beinecke the Bulldog's Screen Test: He's a Fashion Hound

Beinecke ("Bine-A-Kee") the Bulldog recently submitted this screen test to the July 26 Twins.  Bow-Wow-Wow and Boola, Boola if you know what we mean.  Okay, that's a Yale Bulldogs reference.

Ladylike...Not so Much. Thank you, Nora

"Whatever you choose, however many roads you travel, I hope that you choose not to be a lady," Nora Ephron told Wellesley's Class of 1996 in a commencement speech. "I hope you will find some way to break the rules and make a little trouble out there. And I also hope that you will choose to make some of that trouble on behalf of women."

If Only There Was A Video of Mitt Romney Hammer Dancing in Hammer Pants

Apparently the Mormons really dig Hammertime.  Peep this video of a young Ryan Gosling at a Mormon talent show.

Smoking Cigarettes on Television News and Mike Wallace's Wardrobe

Now that we have your attention, we dare you to stop watching this interview with Mike Wallace. He is quite captivating. Amazing that men are still wearing a suit, shirt and tie on newscasts in 2012, given the "casualization" of menswear in the majority of businesses and offices.  But you'll never catch PeeWee Herman without a suit on.  And you can take that to the bank (as opposed to a dark adult movie theater).

Sleep Is Now Officially In Fashion

Beauty sleep isn't just for models anymore, it's also a must for geniuses. Einstein needed 10 hours of sleep to function at his best. In his new book, "Internal Time," German chronobiologist Till Roenneberg demonstrates through a wealth of research that our sleep patterns have little to do with laziness and other such scorned character flaws, and everything to do with biology. 

This is the face of my grand-nephew Soren after somebody woke him up way too soon.  He's basically giving somebody "the side-eye of death". Roenneberg also chastises the predjudicial view that the early bird gets the worm: "This myth that early risers are good people and that late risers are lazy has its reasons and merits in rural societies but becomes questionable in a modern 24/7 society. The old moral is so prevalent, however, that it still dominates our beliefs, even in modern times. The postman doesn’t think for a second that the young man might have worked until the early morning hours because he is a night-shift worker or for other reasons. He labels healthy young people who sleep into the day as lazy ."  


Now if you live on a farm, good for you.  

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Any Humanitarians Out There??? Woman Can't Move--If You Know Her Location, Pls Go and Get Her

We at DressCode are nothing if not concerned about our fellow peeps.  The predicament this woman is in is really serious.  Girlfriend went to a party on Friday wearing these shoes, then her feet "swole up" something fierce and she has been leaning on this table for three days now.

New York Men Can't Dress for Sh*t! According to Kanye. Do Your Sock Garters Match the Tassels on Your Shoes, By the Way?

Big news, big news!!!! We can all sleep better now that Kanye West has given all of us the 411  on men's fashion. By the way, 411 is an old school number to get "information." We used to dial 4-1-1 on our rotary phones to find out whether someone's parents' landline phone number was listed or not.

Holy GQ, Batman! Kayne cuts no slack whatsoever when it comes to everybody else's clothes.  

If you are a Manhattan guy who happened to be walking the street when Mr. West was Tweeting as he was looking out of his chauffered car window and you were wearing:

• "Big Ass Striped Scarves" and/or
• "Khaki cargo shorts" and/or
• "Off Brand Work Out Sneakers" and/or
• "Long Ass Sideburns with the line up RnB Beard", well, Kanye may just have been talking about you.

Oh, and Kayne doesn't like hoodies with sport coats or button up shirts with hoodies either.  Who does he think he is, a fashion designer?  Actually, he is. The jury is out as to whether he could quit his day job, but he is someone who takes fashion very seriously.

We remember when a friend of ours came to New York and was stunned to find out that not everyone on the streets is "Vogue Worthy."  He himself is "Vogue Worthy" and in between getting a weekly mani/pedi, pouring over fashion magazines and wondering or not his sock garters match his shoe tassels, he also holds forth on the scandalously unfashionable state of men out in these mean streets. As HE sees it.

Watch out guys, boys, dudes, and manly men, you are officially warned.  It may be so crowded in the "look how unstylish women are" field that you, too, may be fair game.  Some really insensitive tabloids might even claim you have a baby bump when all you did was have five too many burritos for lunch.  They might even criticize your abs, or your hairstyle or even the knot in your tie. 

Or even worse, Kanye might create a rap song about you called "You Were High On Theraflu When You Got Dressed Today".  Before you leave the house, make sure your "Manscara" isn't messed-up, either. As YOU see it.

The Bandage Dress: A Sign of our Fashion Victim Times?

Have you seen the “Bandage Dress”?  It seems like all the celebrities are wearing them on the red carpet these days.

The Oxford Dictionary defines a “bandage” as a noun, meaning “a strip of material used to bind a wound or to protect an injured part of the body.”  

Sure enough, the bandage dress looks like a roll of gauze dyed a trendy color. A starlet, preferably with protruding hipbones is wrapped up in the bandage-like stretch fabric as tightly as possible without killing her.  If they do kill her, then it's called "Mummification.”

Bandage dresses are perfect for today’s fashion victims because....well, like someone once said, if it’s painful and/or ridiculous, it will find it’s way into women’s fashion or into the mouths of Republican politicians.

Indeed, the word Bandage is just one vowel away  from Bondage, which is what inspires most of today’s shoes, I mean ladies’ foot, toe, leg and ankle torture devices.  

Is fashion another sign that there is a war on women?  Well, there aren’t any really, uncomfortable equivalents in men’s fashion, unless you count Rush Limbaugh’s belts.

But, let’s just think about women’s fashion again for a minute.  Linguistically speaking, it is pretty odd that one kind of dress is named after wound care materials and another kind, the spaghetti strap dress, is named after something you can’t eat a lot of if you want to look good in it.  

Instead of occupying Wall Street, let’s occupy our minds and realize that “fashion” has put us women in a quandry. When it comes to the hoops we have to jump through just to look presentable, they keep getting higher. Regular hair isn’t enough, now extensions are de riguer.  Nails keep getting longer and the artwork on them looks like fractal geometry as painted by Michaelangelo. Most of us can't do either of these things ourselves without tons of practice.

You can say that we love fashion, but sometimes keeping up with it is like having two unpaid internships that you want to quit, but you can't because you think that other people think it makes you interesting. Go figure. But don't over obsess about your figure, that makes you crazy.

29 Trends to Try Before You Die! Say What?

Refinery 29 (which sounds like a place where crude oil is processed) is actually in the fashion business. Now it seems they are also in the bucket list-making business, and have put together a list of 29 trends the ladies should try before they die! How uplifting is that? ("I've got a terminal illness, so I better make sure I've tried all of the recommended trends, or else, I'll die unfulfilled. Even if I have won the Nobel Peace Prize...")

Here are some of the so-called "trends" Refinery 29 has decided are must-do before we kick the bucket. #1 Trend: Sneakers. Really? Sneakers? #2 Trend: Pink Lipstick. Really? Isn't pink a popular color with the ladies? #4 Trend: A Romper. OMG! Are we in kindergarten? Yikes! How about #7: Animal Prints. Really, Truly? Chances are, even if you aren't trying to be trendy, you've probably already tried most of these so-called "trends. Thumbs down on this bucket list approach to fashion Refinery 29. It ain't fair or funny or even "refined."

Ikea Develops a Step Stool and Shoe Combo

Tired of looking for that step stool you think you put in one of your closets, but can't remember which one? And ladies, who among us doesn't want to "step up" their productivity around the house? In keeping with a "do-more in less time" philosophy, the bright minds at Ikea have developed these time saving Step Stool Shoes.

Yes, these Step Stool Shoes take all the hassle of reaching for items on top of the refrigerator and those things you keep hidden from your husband and the kids in that non-descript box on the top shelf of your closet. Thanks, Ikea! The July 26 Twins hide their secret stash of gummy bears on the top of the shelving units in the living room. With these new shoes, it won't "be a bear" to reach our supply of snacky goodness.
 
P.S. These shoes also work to keep your feet dry when crossing over puddles during a rainstorm. How practical is that?

How to Tie A Tie: the most asked question online in 2010. Do we need to ask Wikileaks to Spill the Beans?

Tom Keene, financial wiz and the star of the "Surveillance" show on the Bloomberg network, certainly loves his bow ties and his pinstripes.  There are many occupations that seem to have a higher percentage of bow tie wearers.  Some of these include news reporters and anchors, architects, politicians, clowns and other intellectuals.  Coincidentally, the most asked question on the world wide web for 2010 is: How do I tie a tie?  What's up guys?  Why so secretive? Perhaps we need to use Wikileaks to get the word out? 

We bet Tim Gunn appreciates Tom Keene's keen take on suit and tie choices.  We've got Keene on our Surveillance, our fashion surveillance, that is.

Marian Anderson: Personal Style and Public Imagery

First Lady and Fellow Chicagoan Michelle Obama is remarkable for her impact on fashion, style and the focus the media is placing upon covering M.O.’s fashion choices and style. Style is a kind of shorthand. Style is a way of crystallizing our public persona. When someone looks absolutely stunning, it can take your breath away while you witness the true and authentic essence of someone extraordinary. Marian Anderson, pictured above, the first regular member of New York’s Metropolitan Opera, reflected on her own identity as an African American woman in American society and said, “I could see that my significance as an individual was small in this affair. I had become a symbol, representing my people.” The dress she’s wearing leaves no room for questioning Anderson’s amazing grace and personal composure in her very public role in American life and culture.

President Barack Obama, First Lady Michelle and Style Today

Recycling Shoes as Hair Accessories

Have you ever lost just one shoe? Did your dog eat one of your shoes and you just can't bear to part with the other one? Well, don't despair, wear! Yes, you read that correctly...models on the Paris runways are doing it so why don't we? Maybe if you wear a shoe on your head it's easier for Prince Charming to find you after the dance party! And yes, this post is recycled, too.