Tina Turner Comes out of Retirement to Dance with Beinecke and the Fashion Babies!

The Legendary Tina Turner flew from her new homeland, Italy, to party and dance with Beinecke and the Fashion Babies as seen in this exclusive video.  Tina can still shake a mean tail feather and the breaking news is that Beinecke and the Fashion Babies may be training for Dancing with the Stars!

A New Version of Jingle Bells for Christmas and Holidays 2013!

The Holidays will be here before we know it so don't delay, learn the new holiday 2013 Jingle Bells today!
Read the new lyrics as penned by the genius lyricist and all around good guy, Michael V. Peters.
 

Jingle Bells, Elfis smells

Santa has three noses

He SHOT OUT SNOT AT THREE ELVES at once like 

WATER FROM THREE HOSES

It landed on most of the gifts but Santa didn't care

And when the children saw it they threw up a ton of hair

 

His beard is filled with bugs

There's a goldmine in his ear

Why is this? Because

He drinks a lot of beer

When it gets to be Christmas Eve

You better hold your nose

Cuz Santa tends to FART a lot

And it sounds like "Ho Ho Ho!'

 

Jingle Bells, Elfis smells

Santa has three noses

He SHOT OUT SNOT at 3 ELVES at once LIKE

WATER FROM THREE HOSES

It landed on most of the gifts but Santa didn't care

And when the children saw it they threw Up! A! Ton! Of! Hair! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIR*cough cough hack*

Fashion Babies Discuss Baby Fashions: The High-Waisted Man Pant

What's Love Got to do with it, got to do with it? What's Love, but the Fashion Babies in Motion?

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!  Getting Jiggy with Tina Turner in Chicago.  Tina's red dress with the red fringe is in classic style and her trademark legs are working it!  Ms. Turner put on her happy shoes and started singing up a storm, at which point Beinecke the Bulldog put the Fashion Babies on his head and they all shook a tail feather together.  PLEASE feel free to provide your own soundtrack, as we aren't into copyright violations!

The July 26 Twins as Fashion Babies: Who Are They, You Ask?

Baby Isa is on the left, and Baby Phoebe is on the right. The Fashion Babies live in Glamsterdam, a magical place with unlimited naps. If you're looking for some new friends who are holding it down on the fashion tip, then these are your new babyfriends!

Ladylike...Not so Much. Thank you, Nora

"Whatever you choose, however many roads you travel, I hope that you choose not to be a lady," Nora Ephron told Wellesley's Class of 1996 in a commencement speech. "I hope you will find some way to break the rules and make a little trouble out there. And I also hope that you will choose to make some of that trouble on behalf of women."

If Only There Was A Video of Mitt Romney Hammer Dancing in Hammer Pants

Apparently the Mormons really dig Hammertime.  Peep this video of a young Ryan Gosling at a Mormon talent show.

Smoking Cigarettes on Television News and Mike Wallace's Wardrobe

Now that we have your attention, we dare you to stop watching this interview with Mike Wallace. He is quite captivating. Amazing that men are still wearing a suit, shirt and tie on newscasts in 2012, given the "casualization" of menswear in the majority of businesses and offices.  But you'll never catch PeeWee Herman without a suit on.  And you can take that to the bank (as opposed to a dark adult movie theater).

Sleep Is Now Officially In Fashion

Beauty sleep isn't just for models anymore, it's also a must for geniuses. Einstein needed 10 hours of sleep to function at his best. In his new book, "Internal Time," German chronobiologist Till Roenneberg demonstrates through a wealth of research that our sleep patterns have little to do with laziness and other such scorned character flaws, and everything to do with biology. 

This is the face of my grand-nephew Soren after somebody woke him up way too soon.  He's basically giving somebody "the side-eye of death". Roenneberg also chastises the predjudicial view that the early bird gets the worm: "This myth that early risers are good people and that late risers are lazy has its reasons and merits in rural societies but becomes questionable in a modern 24/7 society. The old moral is so prevalent, however, that it still dominates our beliefs, even in modern times. The postman doesn’t think for a second that the young man might have worked until the early morning hours because he is a night-shift worker or for other reasons. He labels healthy young people who sleep into the day as lazy ."  


Now if you live on a farm, good for you.  

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Any Humanitarians Out There??? Woman Can't Move--If You Know Her Location, Pls Go and Get Her

We at DressCode are nothing if not concerned about our fellow peeps.  The predicament this woman is in is really serious.  Girlfriend went to a party on Friday wearing these shoes, then her feet "swole up" something fierce and she has been leaning on this table for three days now.

New York Men Can't Dress for Sh*t! According to Kanye. Do Your Sock Garters Match the Tassels on Your Shoes, By the Way?

Big news, big news!!!! We can all sleep better now that Kanye West has given all of us the 411  on men's fashion. By the way, 411 is an old school number to get "information." We used to dial 4-1-1 on our rotary phones to find out whether someone's parents' landline phone number was listed or not.

Holy GQ, Batman! Kayne cuts no slack whatsoever when it comes to everybody else's clothes.  

If you are a Manhattan guy who happened to be walking the street when Mr. West was Tweeting as he was looking out of his chauffered car window and you were wearing:

• "Big Ass Striped Scarves" and/or
• "Khaki cargo shorts" and/or
• "Off Brand Work Out Sneakers" and/or
• "Long Ass Sideburns with the line up RnB Beard", well, Kanye may just have been talking about you.

Oh, and Kayne doesn't like hoodies with sport coats or button up shirts with hoodies either.  Who does he think he is, a fashion designer?  Actually, he is. The jury is out as to whether he could quit his day job, but he is someone who takes fashion very seriously.

We remember when a friend of ours came to New York and was stunned to find out that not everyone on the streets is "Vogue Worthy."  He himself is "Vogue Worthy" and in between getting a weekly mani/pedi, pouring over fashion magazines and wondering or not his sock garters match his shoe tassels, he also holds forth on the scandalously unfashionable state of men out in these mean streets. As HE sees it.

Watch out guys, boys, dudes, and manly men, you are officially warned.  It may be so crowded in the "look how unstylish women are" field that you, too, may be fair game.  Some really insensitive tabloids might even claim you have a baby bump when all you did was have five too many burritos for lunch.  They might even criticize your abs, or your hairstyle or even the knot in your tie. 

Or even worse, Kanye might create a rap song about you called "You Were High On Theraflu When You Got Dressed Today".  Before you leave the house, make sure your "Manscara" isn't messed-up, either. As YOU see it.

The Bandage Dress: A Sign of our Fashion Victim Times?

Have you seen the “Bandage Dress”?  It seems like all the celebrities are wearing them on the red carpet these days.

The Oxford Dictionary defines a “bandage” as a noun, meaning “a strip of material used to bind a wound or to protect an injured part of the body.”  

Sure enough, the bandage dress looks like a roll of gauze dyed a trendy color. A starlet, preferably with protruding hipbones is wrapped up in the bandage-like stretch fabric as tightly as possible without killing her.  If they do kill her, then it's called "Mummification.”

Bandage dresses are perfect for today’s fashion victims because....well, like someone once said, if it’s painful and/or ridiculous, it will find it’s way into women’s fashion or into the mouths of Republican politicians.

Indeed, the word Bandage is just one vowel away  from Bondage, which is what inspires most of today’s shoes, I mean ladies’ foot, toe, leg and ankle torture devices.  

Is fashion another sign that there is a war on women?  Well, there aren’t any really, uncomfortable equivalents in men’s fashion, unless you count Rush Limbaugh’s belts.

But, let’s just think about women’s fashion again for a minute.  Linguistically speaking, it is pretty odd that one kind of dress is named after wound care materials and another kind, the spaghetti strap dress, is named after something you can’t eat a lot of if you want to look good in it.  

Instead of occupying Wall Street, let’s occupy our minds and realize that “fashion” has put us women in a quandry. When it comes to the hoops we have to jump through just to look presentable, they keep getting higher. Regular hair isn’t enough, now extensions are de riguer.  Nails keep getting longer and the artwork on them looks like fractal geometry as painted by Michaelangelo. Most of us can't do either of these things ourselves without tons of practice.

You can say that we love fashion, but sometimes keeping up with it is like having two unpaid internships that you want to quit, but you can't because you think that other people think it makes you interesting. Go figure. But don't over obsess about your figure, that makes you crazy.

29 Trends to Try Before You Die! Say What?

Refinery 29 (which sounds like a place where crude oil is processed) is actually in the fashion business. Now it seems they are also in the bucket list-making business, and have put together a list of 29 trends the ladies should try before they die! How uplifting is that? ("I've got a terminal illness, so I better make sure I've tried all of the recommended trends, or else, I'll die unfulfilled. Even if I have won the Nobel Peace Prize...")

Here are some of the so-called "trends" Refinery 29 has decided are must-do before we kick the bucket. #1 Trend: Sneakers. Really? Sneakers? #2 Trend: Pink Lipstick. Really? Isn't pink a popular color with the ladies? #4 Trend: A Romper. OMG! Are we in kindergarten? Yikes! How about #7: Animal Prints. Really, Truly? Chances are, even if you aren't trying to be trendy, you've probably already tried most of these so-called "trends. Thumbs down on this bucket list approach to fashion Refinery 29. It ain't fair or funny or even "refined."

Ikea Develops a Step Stool and Shoe Combo

Tired of looking for that step stool you think you put in one of your closets, but can't remember which one? And ladies, who among us doesn't want to "step up" their productivity around the house? In keeping with a "do-more in less time" philosophy, the bright minds at Ikea have developed these time saving Step Stool Shoes.

Yes, these Step Stool Shoes take all the hassle of reaching for items on top of the refrigerator and those things you keep hidden from your husband and the kids in that non-descript box on the top shelf of your closet. Thanks, Ikea! The July 26 Twins hide their secret stash of gummy bears on the top of the shelving units in the living room. With these new shoes, it won't "be a bear" to reach our supply of snacky goodness.
 
P.S. These shoes also work to keep your feet dry when crossing over puddles during a rainstorm. How practical is that?